


Front Page

by camichats



Category: Marvel
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:47:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25561552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/camichats/pseuds/camichats
Summary: Tony needs someone to bring home over break, and because Peter is a disaster, he not only says yes, but makes the mistake of telling Aunt May.
Relationships: Peter Parker/Tony Stark
Comments: 4
Kudos: 105





	Front Page

**Author's Note:**

> For Spiderman Bingo G5-Fake Relationship

"You want me to what?" Peter said. 

"Pretend to be my boyfriend," Tony repeated, and yep, that was what Peter had heard the first time. It didn't make any more sense the second time around than it had the first. "Only for like a week." 

"Does that make any sense to you?" 

"It makes perfect sense," Tony said, offended. "I need to get my parents off my back about settling down, and introducing them to my significant other will do it. Rhodey's already dating someone, which means you." 

Peter frowned at him. "You should not be trusted to make decisions." 

"See? Just say shit like that, and it'll really sell it. This will be easy, you already know your part. We don't even have to fake any PDA because I don't like getting touched. Well, not in public anyway," he amended. "And my parents count as public. I'm not sure I've ever seen my mother's real face; she's always acting like there's a camera in the room." 

"You're... weird. And I don't often get to say that to other people." 

"So you'll do it?" 

"No!" 

"There will be free food." 

"Fine." 

Tony grinned at him. That grin was always getting Peter in trouble because it made him weak in the knees and when he got weak in the knees, he made very questionable decisions. Like agreeing to this cluster fuck and how he was going to explain this to Aunt May when he'd been meaning to visit her over this break-- only for a day or two, but still, he knew that she was expecting that. 

* * *

"So I ask you to pretend for my parents for a week and you say fuck no," Tony said, looking up at the ceiling in contemplation from where he was laying on the floor of Peter's apartment, "and then you go and tell your Aunt that we're dating so now we have to pretend for her too. You do realize that Aunt May is not going to let this go as easily as my parents, right? My parents care about me having the ability to be a long lasting relationship, not who it's with. Aunt May, like, cares about you. She's going to ask about me, and what are you going to do when you say we're not together anymore? She's going to think you need help getting over a breakup or something." 

"I'd be fine getting over you all by myself," Peter assured him. 

"You say that, but I am very lovable. It may not be as easy as you're hoping." 

"We wouldn't _actually_ be breaking up; we'd be pretending to break up." 

"Yeah, and you're not gonna sell it if you keep saying that you're fine. I'm hot shit, Peter." 

"I'm aware." 

"Then act like it!" 

"Didn't you start this by complaining about the situation?" Peter asked. 

"Actually I started this by saying that for someone that protested a whole lot to helping me out, you dug a much bigger hole for yourself without my doing anything. That's kind of impressive," Tony noted thoughtfully. "I'm used to being the only disaster, but Peter, you match me dumb idea for dumb idea. It's freeing. I like it." 

"Fuck off," Peter groaned. He knew he made bad decisions. He knew that _Tony_ made bad decisions too, but for fuck's sake, he didn't want to think about it. It was stressful enough having to live with his intermittent panicking that he didn't want to add to it. But he was already in this situation and he didn't really see it magically disappearing for him. 

Tony-- because he was _Tony_ \-- started laughing. "Rhodey's going to die laughing when I tell him." 

"Why would you do that? Why would you share my greatest shame with anyone who wasn't there in the first place?" 

"I could always invite him to dinner one night," Tony said, undeterred by the pillow Peter threw at him. 

"I'll blow you if you _don't_." 

"Woah, are blow jobs on the table? Seriously? Cause like, I'm here for that. With how much you talk, I'm sure your tongue is something beautiful to behold." 

"How much _I_ talk?" Peter repeated incredulously. "Have you ever heard yourself?" 

"Yes, I talk all the goddamn time, and I think my old partners can vouch for how it paid off for them. If I asked Harry about your prowess in bed, how would he respond?" 

Peter snorted. "He'd probably punch you because he's not out." 

"Ah, deflecting. Clearly you need extra practice." 

"Let me guess," Peter said, aiming for dry but mostly ending up sounding eager, "you volunteer to help me out of the goodness of your heart." 

"I could admit that it's for purely selfish reasons. Would that be better?" 

* * *

**One Year Later**

"Did we seriously get together because we were both horny?" Peter asked. 

Tony swiped at his phone and got a combo on his game. "Yeah." 

Peter snorted and leaned back in his chair. "Alright." 

Tony hummed. 


End file.
